Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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