I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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