"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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