I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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