Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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