when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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