I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
