After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
