i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
