fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
