And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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