Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish they made helmets for livers.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
