what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
