"it" just moved
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
