You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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