I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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