You don't have asthma, your pregnant
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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