So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
