please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
