wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
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Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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