i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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