I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
