in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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