I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is the high leading the old right now
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
