i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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