I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
