he wants to bone in the snuggie
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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