I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
