I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize