Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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