She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
