if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
