So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Farmville is her only friend.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
