Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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