plz talk dirty to me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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