What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
