I wish i was in the wii world.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
