I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
