Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
This can only be settled by a dance off.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
