If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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