just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
