I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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