You were right. It hurts to walk today.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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