id be glad to
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
