So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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