remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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