Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize