The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
