Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize