if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
