I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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