So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
