This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
