I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
