I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
