The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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