He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
