I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
