Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
we're so committed to being not committed
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
