how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
