I'm really into asian looking animals
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
did i just pee glitter
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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