looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
