And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
