Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
