I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
