erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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