U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
