Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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