i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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