Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
