I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
