yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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